Halie's Song

I can't sing 
I feel like singin'
I wanna f***in' sing
'Cuz I'm happy
Yeah, I'm happy
Ha Ha
I got my baby back
Yo, check it out


Some days I sit (sit), starin' out the window
Watchin' this world pass me by
Sometimes I think (think) there's nothin' to live for (for)
I almost break down and cry

Sometimes I think I'm crazy
I'm crazy, oh so crazy
Why am I here, am I just wastin' my time?

But then I see my baby
Suddenly I'm not crazy
It all makes sense when I look into her eyes (Oh no)

Chorus:

Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders
Everyone's leanin' on me
'Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over
But then she comes back to me


My baby girl (girl) (Hailie laughs) keeps gettin' older (der)
I watch her grow up with pride
People make jokes (jokes), 'cuz they don't understand me (me)
They just don't see my real side

I act like sh**   don't phase me
Inside it drives me crazy
My insecurities could eat me alive

But then I see my baby
Suddenly I'm not crazy
It all makes sense when I look into her eyes

Repeat Chorus



Man, if I could sing, I'd keep singin' this song to my daughter
If I could hit the notes, I'd blow somethin' as long as my father
To show her how I feel about her, how proud I am that I got 'er
God, I'm a daddy, I'm so glad that her mom didn't want her

Now you prob'ly get this picture from my public persona
That I'm a pistol-packin' drug-addict who bags on his mama
But I wanna just take this time out to be perfectly honest
'Cuz there's a lot of sh** I keep bottled that hurts deep inside o' ma soul
And just know that I grow colda the older I grow
This boulder on my shoulder that gets heavy and harda to hold
And this load is like the weight of the world
And I think my neck is breakin'
Should I just give up
Or try to live up to these expectations?
Now look
I love my daughter more than life in itself
But I got a wife who's determined to make my life livin' hell
But I handle it well, given the circumstances I'm dealt
So many chances, man, it's too bad, coulda had someone else
But the years that I've wasted are nothin' to the tears that I've tasted
So here's what I'm facin': 3 felonies, 6 years of probation
I've went to jail for this woman, I've been to bat for this woman
I've taken bats to people's backs, bent over backwards for this woman
Man, I shoulda seen it comin', what'd I stick my p**** up in?
Woulda ripped the pre-nup up if I'd seen what she was f***in'
But f*** it, it's over, there's no more reason to cry no more
I got my baby, baby the only lady that I adore, Hailie
So sayonara, try tomorra, nice to know ya
My baby's traveled back to the arms of her rightful owna
And suddenly it seems that my shoulder blades have just shifted
It's like the greatest gift you can get
The weight has been lifted

Chorus 2:
Now it don't feel like the world's on my shoulders
Everyone's leanin' on me
Cause my baby knows that her daddy's a soldier
Nothin' can take her from me

Outro - Spoken
Woo!
I told you, I can't sing
Oh well, I tried
Hailie, remember when I said
If you ever need anything, daddy will be right there?
Well guess what, daddy's here
And I ain't goin' nowhere baby
I love you (kiss)

Hi My Name Is

Chorus: repeat 2x

Hi! my name is.. (what? ) my name is.. (who? )
My name is.. {scratches} slim shady
Hi! my name is.. (huh? ) my name is.. (what? )
My name is.. {scratches} slim shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
For one second?

[eminem]
Hi kids! do you like violence? (yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids? (uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (yeah yeah!)
Try ’cid and get f***ed up worse that my life is? (huh? )
My brain’s dead weight, I’m tryin to get my head straight
But I can’t figure out which spice girl I want to impregnate (ummmm..)
And dr. dre said, slim shady you a basehead!
Uh-uhhh! so why’s your face red? man you wasted!
Well since age twelve, I’ve felt like I’m someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped pamela lee’s t*** off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like kris kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my a**
Faster than a fat b**** who sat down too fast
C’mere slut! (shady, wait a minute, that’s my girl dog!)
I don’t give a f***, God sent me to piss the world off!

Chorus

[eminem]
My english teacher wanted to have sex in junior high
The only problem was my english teacher was a guy
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
And stapled his n**s to a stack of paper (owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my d*** in the tip cup (wsssshhhhh...)
Extraterrestrial, killin pedestrians
Rapin lesbians while they screamin: let’s just be friends!
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do
I told her I’d grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
And try to touch your hands like some screamin usher fans (aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at white castle asked for my autograph (dude, can I get your autograph? )
So I signed it: ’dear dave, thanks for the support, a**hole!’

Chorus

[eminem]
Stop the tape! this kid needs to be locked away! (get him!)
Dr. dre, don’t just stand there, operate!
I’m not ready to leave, it’s too scary to die
I’ll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain’t had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
Clothes ripped like the incredible hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I’ll f*** anything that walks (c’mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
How you gonna breast feed me mom? (wah!) you ain’t got no t**s! (wah!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (bang!)
I’m steamin mad (arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (yeah? )
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

Chorus

The Real Slim Shady

Eminem as nurse:

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin' her a** worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin' her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on ya lips, my bum is on ya lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothin' but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave ya pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus(2x):

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?


Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so f*** him and f*** you too!
You think I give a d*** about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? Sh**, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little b**** put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who JUST DON'T GIVE A F*** like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Chorus


I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin' you
Things you joke about wit ya friends inside your livin' room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just sh**tin'
Betta than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin' when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
Pinchin' nurses a**es when I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin' lot, circlin'
Screamin', "I DON'T GIVE A F***!"
Wit his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus (2x)


Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
F*** it, let's all stand up